


Forever is Composed of Nows

by DoctorThasmin



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Heart of the TARDIS, Immortality, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 02:09:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17071460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorThasmin/pseuds/DoctorThasmin
Summary: Yaz wishes for immortality and tries to make the TARDIS understand.





	Forever is Composed of Nows

**Disclaimer I do not own Doctor Who or these characters I am merely borrowing them for my own amusement. Don’t sue me; I’ll have to pay you in biscuits. The way 13 intended.**

_Summary: Yaz wishes for immortality and tries to make the TARDIS understand._

 

The TARDIS hums, the orange glow pulsing in tandem with a slow heartbeat as her Doctor sleeps softly in the corner, her sonic clutched to her chest her nose wrinkled. Yaz studies her as she trails her fingertips across the walls and around the console chewing on her lip biding her time to approach this life altering decision. Staring into the column letting the orange glow sink into her skin she can feel the Tardis turn its attention to her and quieten its hum. 

“Is it a lullaby, that hum? To help her sleep?” Yaz murmurs running her finger down the only hinge on the console. With a shiver down her spine Yaz felt her head spin a little before a delicate feminine voice filled her mind.

“Our Doctor has trouble sleeping, that’s why you’ve waited Yasmin. Till you were sure we’d be alone” The Tardis speaks softly, a sadness leaking through her dulcet tone. 

Yaz pinches her eyes closed biting her lip finding her strength to form the words that had stuck in her mind since that fateful New Years Day. 

“You know what I want, you’re in my mind?” Yaz whispers her finger following the hinge down to its conclusion, a clasp.

The Tardis begins to hum again dimming the orange glow just a little more casting a shadow over the sleeping Doctor.

“You will be with her forever, I know that. But she needs more.” Yaz chokes out her tear rimmed eyes staring into the column.

“Oh Yasmin, I know. But this is our fate, entwined together throughout time and space, together, but alone.” The Tardis lamented casting her glow up to the top of the Tardis filling the space with images of companions, past and present.

“Our friends never leave us Yasmin, we carry you always.” The Tardis promises as an image of Rose and Jack laughing together spins on a loop.

Yaz flicks the clasp open curiously jumping as the glow disappears and the hum comes to a standstill.

“No Yasmin, don’t. If you look you could die.” The Tardis warns her voice pitched in concern torn between waking the Doctor and protecting her from this companions wishful sacrifice.

With a tear slipping down Yaz’s face she looked into the column before closing her eyes.

“But I could live forever, for her. You can give me immortality, like Rose gave Jack.” Yaz pleads her eyes clenched shut as she let her finger trace the edge of the metal seam.

“I-I can’t.” The Tardis stammers and Yaz’s eyes flicker open for the first time she dares to hope.

“I can make her happy. I can be whatever she needs. She shouldn’t have to do this alone.” Yaz reasons lifting the seam open the pure gold light seeping through just slightly. 

“She will never forgive me.” The Tardis whispers out loud to the room casting her orange glow across like a sunrise over the Doctor’s sleeping form. 

“She loves me. Let me do this for her. Let us sail all together among the stars forever.” Yaz wishes her eyes shut as she feels the seam of the small hatch open and gold light spread across her face and burn brightly behind her eyelids. Smiling let her tears fall freely as she embraced the beginning of forever.

Taking a deep breath she opens her eyes to see the Doctor and her golden hair standing in front of the hatch a small soft smile on her face. A moment too close.

“This is my choice Doctor, our choice. Stand aside.” Yaz says her eyes taught with determination, seeing the wisps of golden strands leak out of the Tardis’s hatch moving up and around the Doctor’s head.

“I do not choose this fate for you Yaz.” The Doctor whispered small tears trailing down her cheeks as she raised her hands to cup Yaz’s jaw. 

Raising her hands to meet the Doctors Yaz kissed the inside of her wrist, memorising the soft skin and smell of something so infinitesimally the Doctor. 

“I want to give you forever. We could be happy, you could have peace.” Yaz cries softly reaching her hand to press against the thrum of the Doctor’s twin hearts.

“I am happy. I have peace with you.” The Doctor promises her nose brushing against Yaz’s as their foreheads rest against each other; the orange glow illuminating their faces.

“But its not forever.” Yaz whispers closing her eyes. The Doctor wraps her arms around her waist gently encircling her in a cocoon of warmth. The golden strands moving their way around their embrace never quite touching, yet pulling each other across the air. 

“Forever is composed of nows Yasmin Khan, if you give me your now, you give me your forever.” The Doctor comforted. Opening her eyes Yaz felt her last tear roll down her face before she leaned in pressing her lips to the Doctors.

As they kissed the golden strands of the TARDIS swarmed back to the console gently closing the hatch and with a quiet clunk and hiss the clasp was fizzled into nothingness, never to be touched again.

The TARDIS began to hum a slower lullaby, drowning out the whirring as they floated through the cosmos.

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note  
> Ah jesus, I hit myself in the feels with this one. Sorry. Find me on Tumblr @doctorthasmin I'm looking for prompts :)  
> Also “Forever is composed of nows” is a paraphrase of an Emily Dickinson poem, highly recommend its very Doctor Who applicable.


End file.
